She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
