you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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