I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
