i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize