the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
