I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
