I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
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I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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