The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize