yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
