...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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