We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize