so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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