There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
