Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Enjoy the penises
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
