Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
