I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
