I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
