I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We are two peas in an std pod
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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