I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
