I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
