It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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