i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What a dumb baby whore.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
