its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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