Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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