So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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