seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
