Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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