you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize