I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
