i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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