he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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