oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
