But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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