I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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