he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
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I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.