You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
