I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
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I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize