i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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