Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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