I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
