the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
