The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
