forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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