my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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