Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm getting married
To pizza
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
