I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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