Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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