I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
