Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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