i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
