Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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