can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
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My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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