This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My vagina is officially offended.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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