I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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