tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
