i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
