went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
pray to the hookup gods
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
